Goodbye and Goodluck Meredith!

So I just watched Meredith Viera's last episode of the View. And as I knew I would be, I was in tears. I remember watching the episode I heard that she would be leaving to go over to the today show...and crying then. I know it seems really really strange to be so worked up over someone you don't even know...but I remember loving The View from the first minute I saw it, way back when we first got foxtel. -I don't remember when exactly, or who was on, but I remember sitting down every weekend to watch the weeks worth. Meredith I loved instantly. I have always looked up to her in a way. She's incredibly kooky and isn't afraid to make a fool of herself. She also is so friendly and loving towards the others on the show and to the people she knows. Watching that show really brightened up my days, especially the last 6 months, since we've had W channel permanently, instead of just every now and then when foxtel was giving us a preview.
So congrats and goodluck to Meredith Viera on the Today show and in her life from a gal from Melbourne Australia.

All this thinking about how much I love Meredith, got me thinking about how it is that I love SO many people and so many characters. It's really an interesting thing. I've always been attached to my characters...but on the View, they are just being themselves...and thats kinda interesting.
I think the fact that these people or characters are with me everyday and are such a part of my life, to see someone everyday and not feel an attachment to them is unnatural to me. I invest so much love and time into people that when they go away - the shows end and the characters go off into that tv world in the sky, or someone leaves and goes onto new things....it's very emotional for me, because they are like a best friend. Someone whose been there for so many years, someone I've shared my time, my life with and have gone through good and bad times with, that to see them vanish is a very sad thing. -Then again maybe I'm just a huge sap....which is highly possible. hehe.

But I think I'm not wrong in saying that all these characters and people I love, will always share a special place in my heart. -The old 90210 characters do, so do the original The Practice and Ally McBeal characters, the Charmed gals, the Buffy group, Angel...Dawson's Creek....Degrassi Junior High/High, Saved By The Bell, Friends, Party of Five, Providence, and I know there are probably heaps more that I'm forgetting....
...and with Will and Grace almost over, and all the new shows I have adopted lately, I know eventually they will end, and I know they will always be part of me -wow imagine how full my heart will be of these people by the time I'm 40....if at 20 there are so many loved people with me.

So to all the characters that have been, and to all those yet to come - I love you all so much! You're the best friends I've ever had. And I know that for everyone that leaves, there will be another one I will love just as much and sometimes more.


-Carlie one big sap

The Gal Is Back!

Wow I kinda forgot about my blog. lol. I've been super busy lately.

But things are sorta starting to settle down...slightly.
I handed in the first 2 essays I had due last week. I dunno how good they were..the one I did on Film Noir was the better of the two I think.

Today I went shopping at Chaddy with Vanessa. I hadn't seen her in ages. It was a lot of fun to catch up. We went to Borders and JB and a bunch of other stores. I bought the beaches soundtrack, Romy and Michele's high school reunion and While you were sleeping on dvd, a few hair products and lipstick from Priceline and then I bought 2 tops and a sweater from this shop Ness introduced me to. It's a great shop. I'll have to remember to go back there!

Tonight it was just me and Nikki home, we watched the new movies I bought, and then I watched a couple of commentaries.

I haven't worked since last Saturday. I'm working tomorrow night from 6:30 till 11:30...that will be fun. lol.
meh.

Got some more stuff due this week, which I'll really have to get organised.

I so can't wait till my holidays. I'm gonna paint my room and take down those old posters...I think it's time. lol.

-----------
Carls

Just Keep Puttering On

Well....I've almost finished my essay for Text and Culture, the draft is due thursday...and thats pretty much all it will be...it'll need a lot of work before I hand it in next Thursday.
My essay for Bree's class is still in the early stages...which is nowhere near what I'd like it to be.
...I am getting behind in my stuff for Paul's class, the research project. ...and I will have to start dealing with Mary's.

Along with all the pressure to get it all done, I've been feeling really crappy...not as in sick..but my emotions are getting to me. -I think I'm getting worse. It's probably all Dawson's Creek's falt, but I am constantly thinking about things and about my relationships with other people...and I'm just getting more and more upset about it. -I feel really alone, and empty. And I really hope I snap out of it soon...or it's going to drive me insane...
I've got to stop thinking about it all so much....or maybe thats the problem. -All the stuff in my life I've had to deal with...I'm finally old enough to really understand it and analyse it...and it's making my head explode, because I don't know how to deal with it....and then the other stuff gets in there as well...and it just becomes bad.

I miss my friends. -I haven't really seen anyone lately and I miss people. Thats one thing I really hate about my working...I don't have the freedom to be avaliable whenever...and I never know when I'm going to be working from one week to the next...so that makes it hard to plan things....
Hopefully something will work out soon....I'll be crossing my fingers.


Well I should head off to bed...gotta go to class tomorrow...I'll probably get some crap for not doing the work that I should have by now...but meh.

Sir. Ma'am.
Toodles.
---------
Carlie

I'm 100% Swamped!

Wow...it's been a while..but I just couldn't be bothered writing anything.

I ended up finishing class really early today. I picked up books from the library for my many essays and assignments that are due in the next couple of weeks. -I'm on total overload!
I should be doing work right now...but I am just not focussed...
I have to write drafts for 2 essays on the weekend.

I also have stuff to do for my other classes. It's quite scary.
At least i'm not working much this weekend. That's somewhat of a comfort. -I'm only working tomorrow night.

It's nice to be home for a friday night. -I've worked the last few. I rented movies, 'The Producers' (the new one), 'The Family Stone', Anchorman, and Clue.
Should be fun. :D

I'm still feeling really depressed at the moment. I think I may have to start looking into some kind of therapy, a psychologist or something. I think I'm only getting worse.

I've been doing a lot of writing lately. -Last night I started an NCIS fanfic on a whim. I may or may not actually get around to finishing it. We'll see.
Oh and I finally finished season 4 of Dawson's Creek. Now I have 5 to go. (6 isn't out here yet)

I watched the season 5 finale of Crossing Jordan on Tuesday. It was really really good.
-I really don't wanna wait for season 6! It's gonna kill me! haha!

Las Vegas finishes next week in the US. -Should be good...or at least interesting. lol.

Keep on Trucking!

-------
Carls

Silent Night Part 2

Okay so here is the rest of what I wrote for the short little fic.

-------------

The movie is coming to an end. “Every time a bell rings, an Angel gets it’s wings.”

“That movie’s extremely sappy!”

“Jordan that’s why it’s great!”

“But it’s all sweet and about a guy learning that he has a place in the world.”

“Well it seems a little self centred to me….”

Woody rolls his eyes and shakes his head at Jordan.

“Lets give the cynicism the night off, shall we. It is Christmas after all.”

Jordan nudges Woody.

“As you wish.”

She leans into Woody and puts her head on his shoulder. He flicks to another movie, and in minutes they are both asleep.

--------------------------

About half an hour later, Woody opens his eyes and sits up. He glances at his watch, and takes a deep breath.
He looked at Jordan, who was still sleeping. She looked so peaceful and sweet, that he didn’t want to wake her. So he covered her with a blanket and gathered his things.
Deciding it was rude to just leave like this, he found a piece of paper and left a note on the coffee table next to the deck of cards.
He kissed her gently on the forehead, before opening the door and leaving.

------------------------------------

Jordan woke the next morning, still on the couch. She took a moment to register why she was on the couch, instead of her bed. Then she remembered.
She looked around for Woody. She glanced at the clock, 8:30am. It took her another minute to register that it was Christmas Day, and that she did not have to hurry off to work. She sat back on the couch. Then she spotted the note.
She narrowed her eyes suspiciously at it, like it might attack her or something. She picked it up and opened it, afraid of what it could say. But she need not fear, for all the note said was,
SORRY TO LEAVE, HAD SOMETHING IMPORTANT TO DO…AND IF I TOLD YOU, IT WOULDN’T BE A SECRET. NOW MAKE A NICE CUP OF COFFEE AND RELAX. MERRY CHRISTMAS JORDAN. SEE YOU SOON. –WOODY.

She sighed. Sometimes Woody could be a pain in the butt…but of the best kind.

She looked down at her clothes from yesterday and decided to have a shower and change her clothes.

---------------------------------

About 20 minutes later, Jordan was in the kitchen, dressed in her usual jeans and top. Today she added a little festivity to her wardrobe by wearing a red top with sparkly white snowflakes on it. She was just about to pour the coffee into her glass, when there was a knock at the door. She knew exactly who it was. And when she opened the door, with a smile, she was happy that she was correct in guessing that it was her blue eyed detective wearing a Santa hat on his head.

“Did you miss me?”

“Oh. Immensely!”

Jordan kidded with him and flicked the pom pom on the end of his hat.

“What you got there?”

She asked, pointing to a box that Woody was carrying.

“All in good time.”

He said avoidingly. And walked right by her into the apartment.

Jordan shrugged and followed him.

“Coffee?”

“Please.”

Woody gently put the box down on the table. Jordan watched with great curiosity.

She walked over to couch and handed Woody a mug, and placed her own on the coffee table.
She sat down next to him on the couch, where the two had spent a lot of time lately.

“You know I don’t think I’ve ever spent so much time on this couch before.”

She stated, taking a sip of her coffee.

“What you’ve never sat and watched an all night marathon on cable?”

Woody exclaimed.

Jordan rolled her eyes and gently punched him on the arm.

“Some come on, tell me! What’s in the box?”

Woody smiled.

“I got you a little something.”

“Oh Woody you didn’t need to do that.”

“I wanted to.”

He picked up the box gently.

“Lily’s been holding onto it for me.”

Jordan bit her lip. And took the box from Woody and opened the lid.

“I thought you could use some company.”

Out popped a little grey kitten’s head.
Jordan was momentarily speechless.

“She’s very friendly.”

“She’s adorable. Really.”

The kitten jumped out of the box.

“Oh. Come here puss.”

As the kitty tried to jump off the couch.

Jordan swooped her up and placed her back on her lap.

“You almost lost her to Lily…she didn’t want to give her back.”

He laughed.
Jordan smiled.

“So you gonna name her?”

Jordan grinned.

“I feel five years old right now.”

Woody dangled a piece of string in front of the little blue eyed kitty.

“Hmm. What would be a good name for you little one.”

She bit her lip and thought for a minute.

“How about, Lola.”

She picked up the kitten and stared into her face.
Woody thought it over for a minute and nodded.

“Yep. She seems like a Lola to me.”

Jordan smiled and put Lola back down. Jordan and Woody watched as she jumped around their feet, pouncing on the bits of string Woody kept waving in her face, and stopping her from falling and hurting herself each time she ventured to the edge of the couch.

“Thank you Woody.”

“Enjoy the company.”

He took her hand.

“And just remember that you still have people around who love you.”

She smiled, and kissed him.


--------------------------

-Okay so that was REALLY REALLY sappy! hahaha. But I love it. It made me feel good.



And moving on....
I was watching Dawson's Creek just before and they were talking about the person who knew them best. -I don't think I have a person like that. If I had to get someone to write an essay...I wouldn't know who would be the best person.
I can honestly say that I don't feel close enough to anyone for them to really know me. -No one knows my deepest secrets. There is a lot I will never be able to tell anyone....this sorta frightens me a little. -It makes me very stressed and depressed in my mind.
I really don't think I have a good relationship with anyone.
My parents definately don't know me. -My dad won't even accept that I'm a adult, let alone give me simple human rights of asking me the questions himself, instead of going through mum and making her ask me. -and in case you're wondering, yes that really hurts!
It really hurts and scares me that there isn't anyone I can confide in, or trust. I mean I have my girls...but even them I don't tell everything and I can't tell them a lot. And also it's a matter of needing someone to be there.
If something really really bad happened...who would I call? -This is the answer I am sorta trying to find. I have no one.

I think that is my greatest wish in life, to find someone I can confide and trust in. Someone who I will be able to depend on and just someone who will listen when I need to talk....and that I can feel comfortable letting my demons go with.

Sorry to be so depressing....I'll try and make the next post somewhat more lighthearted.

Please Keep Dreaming

--------------
Carlie

Too Much To Do, In So Little Time!

Wow between work, classes, homework and ...my dvd collection, I have been getting slack with my posts.

Don't really have much to report. Went to work this arvo. Was a few minutes late, I ran from the tram. No one said anything, so I don't think they had a problem....I hope.

Last night I was all ready to go to bed at midnight and then I started writing some sappy(well thats what Elsa would call it) romantic Jordan/Woody fan fic. Well it's not really a fic, but a bunch of scenes that came from one original idea.

I'll post what I have so far.

--------------------

Jordan sighed as she opened her front door of her lonely apartment. The idea of spending another Christmas alone depressed her. She had just come from an informal dinner at the Morgue, but unfortunately it didn’t fill her with great enthusiasm for Christmas Day itself.

Jordan took of her thick winter coat, which was now damp from the snow, put her keys on the table, and poured herself a glass of water. She sat on the couch and picked up the paper. She glanced over at a photo sitting on a shelf of her as a little girl, about 5 with her mother and father. She wondered where Max was, if he was okay….but it was pointless and a little painful to think about it too much. So she turned her attention back to the paper that she had opened. Unfortunately the paper was full of mixed articles, just as many were depressing, as were happy and uplifting. And she returned it to its former place on her crowded coffee table.

Jordan stared around her apartment once more, before pulling out her Ipod and listening to some tunes with some good old Christmas charm.
About half an hour later, she suddenly sat up with a jolt, having fallen asleep in the corner of her quite comfy sofa. She took the headphones out of her ears and was able to figure out that there was someone at the door. They knocked again.

“Yeah I’m coming!”

She called out as she made her way to that red door of her apartment.

“Hurry up, its not nice to leave a guy waiting outside on Christmas Eve you know!”

She smiled at the sound of Woody’s teasing, and opened the door.

“What are you doing here?”

She asked him, blocking the doorway.

“Aren’t you going to invite me in?”

Jordan pondered this for a moment, making the blue eyed detective squirm.
He made a face, and she stepped aside.

“So what brings you to my humble abode this late, on Christmas Eve no less. Don’t you have plans?”

He shrugged as he replied.

“What kind of plans exactly?”

“No Christmas get together with your brother?”

Woody looks at Jordan, she can tell that he hasn’t really heard from him. A situation quite similar to her own.

“Well at least you have some idea where he is…”
She responded flatly.

Woody smiled sympathetically at her.

“Looks like we’re a couple of loners my friend.”

Jordan gestured for Woody to sit on the couch. Jordan ventured into the kitchen, grabbing a bottle of wine and two glasses.

“So you didn’t answer my question…”

She sat next to him on the couch and began pouring the wine.

“The ‘what am I doing here’ question?”

Jordan nods.

“Well tell me, just how much fun were YOU having sitting home alone on Christmas Eve?”

She shook her head with a tiny smile.

After a moment, she took a breath.

“Well I’m having much more fun now that you’re here!”

She said with a hint of sarcasm.

“Thanks!”

He took a sip of his wine. Jordan was already half finished hers and cradling the glass in her hand.

“Okay I have a suggestion.”

“Go on.”

“Why don’t we play a game.”

“A game?!”

She sat up interested, but chose to mock Woody instead.

“What are you 6?”

She mocked with a grin.

“Just humor me okay!”

She nodded in agreement.
“Do you have a deck of cards?”

Jordan glanced around her apartment.

“Yes.”

She got up and walked over to a desk, opened a drawer and pulled out a deck of cards.
She returned to the couch and placed them on the table in front of Woody.

---------------------------------------

“Do you have any twos?”

Jordan and Woody were sitting on her living room floor. Jordan had a rather large pile of cards next to her.

Woody sighed.

“This sounded like more fun in theory!”

And he handed over a card, which Jordan took with much glee.

“I’m having fun!”

Woody gave her a childish grin.

“No I am. I’d rather spend my Christmas Eve playing cards with you, than sitting myself doing nothing.”

“Thank you. Now do you have any threes?”

“Nope. Go Fish Woodrow.”

“I think I’m starting to hate this game!”

“Only cause I’m kicking your butt!”

“Now where’s your Christmas spirit?”

She grinned at him. And looked her cards over. She was down to three now.

“Got any Queens?”

Woody looked his cards over and groaned, before handing over yet another card to Jordan.

-------------------------------------

Jordan and Woody have returned to the couch.

“Hey it was your idea to play cards man!”

Woody glares at her, suspiciously.

“Well who knew you’d be the Queen of Go Fish!”

“Sore loser!”

She teased.

“Well if you get to deal all the time…maybe you cheat.”

Jordan asks shocked.

“Never!”

She can’t help but giggling.

“So now what?”

Jordan picks up the remote.

“Lets see what’s on the TV.”

“Oh no. I think I should get to be in charge of the remote!”

And he grabs it out of her hands.
She tries to fight him for it…but to no avail.

“Mine!”

Jordan crosses her arms and pouts.

“Meanie.”

Apparently Christmas is a time for childish acts…because Woody pokes his tongue out at Jordan…and she does the same back.

Woody turns on the TV and starts flicking.

“Ooo this looks good!”

“Jordan, it’s an infomercial.”

Jordan rolls her eyes.

“Okay carry on then.”

He does.

“How about this?”

“You know what this is, right?!”

“Sure. It’s ‘It’s a wonderful life.’”

“Exactly.”

“Supposedly one of the best Christmas movies of all time.”

“What’s the deal with people thinking that the world would be better off without them?”

“Says the local ‘runaway girl’!”

“You know what I mean.”

Woody sighs and takes her hand.

“Yeah. I do.”

He smiles at her.

--------------------------

What I wrote last night was better than what I've done today. But anyways..it's just for fun. -I need a romantic fix. I haven't had one recently. I suppose there's a bit of a romance on ER, but not on anything else, and I haven't really watched any romantic movies lately. ...not counting the quite romantic 'The Princess Bride', which I introduced my mother to tonight.

I watched 'I shot Andy Warhol' tonight. I bought it the other day cause Jill is in it. She had funny 60's hair. lol

Well that's about it for today..oh and I've been playing with Google Earth. -It's fun to zoom around places like Boston.
lol.


------

Carls

Where Do We Go From Here?

So on the weekend...a very busy weekend I'll have you.., I went to the VCE careers expo with mum. I got a bunch of course guides for next year, and now the annoying and extremely difficult task of choosing a course to study next year is upon me. I have till the end of September I think.

I think I am a little closer to deciding what I wanna do. Or maybe am just a little clearer about what I DON'T want to do.
I am probably looking at some kind of IT, or business thing now. Or a creative writing thing maybe. Who knows. It's gonna take a lot more research.
While I still have a small interest in teaching, I think that that wouldn't make me happy. I'd get sick of it. And I really want to travel with my job, so maybe something like what Sarah is doing. Cause from what I hear, she really enjoys her job and also is making decent money and travelling and stuff.
It's stupid how after all these years of having to do certain things, that they try to make you pick one course to study.


anyways...enough of that.

I worked 15 hours on the weekend...and thursday night too. And then I worked tonight as well. Hmm.
On Saturday night the Hargraves came over and we had dinner. It was nice to see them. Sunday afternoon Neil and Sylvia came over and eventually the Hargraves, they were all going out to Sophia's for dinner. I was really bummed that I couldn't go. 1) I love hanging out with Neil and Sylvia, as we NEVER see them! and 2) I LOVE Sophia's! lol.

We went to the other JB today after work and they didn't have the dvd recorder I want either! (We stopped in at Chaddy on the way home on Sunday from the expo).
I will have to wait a little longer. Hmm.

I'm not working again till Friday night, but I'm still busy busy busy. I'm going out to dinner for Bec P's birthday tomorrow night, and then I have class, hanging in the city and then a 2 hour lecture that Bree wants us to go to for our Monday class.
Speaking of which, she had a complete go at me today...and everyone else! ....I think she needs to have the stick removed from her butt!

Well I should probably get to sleep...it's almost 2:30...woops.
I've almost finished downloading the new ep of CJ...I dunno when I'm gonna get to watch it...as everyone is home tomorrow. Hmm. Well maybe I can hope for an hour alone! *holds on to potentially false hope*

hehe.

anyways...
Night night, don't let the bed bugs bite!...or the ones in your head either.

Oodles of Toodles to all.

---------
Carls...or Claire as I called myself this morning when I got my coffee. :)