So it dawned on me recently, that for the first time in a good while I am without an obsession, which is very strange for me since I've almost always had one. Even as a small child the obsessions were there.
I'm feeling very lost. Without an obsession to drive my life, what is there?
As a young child there was The Carebears, Barbies, Cabbage Patch Dolls etc, and of course the big one - The Baby Sitters Club books. That one took over most of primary school for me. I read the books over and over, had merchandise and even planned a special exhibition, which naturally never amounted to anything other than a few papers filled with crazy ideas.
Then there were a few small ones when I started high school, then came along Charmed. A show I really liked became my new obsession after hanging out with my cousins Jade & Caitlin. We started taping it, and would watch it and eat Oreos and drink Sprite...it was a thing for us. I remember talking to Jade on the phone for an hour when we found put Andy died in an upcoming ep!
I had posters, trading cards, bears and even a few spell books!
Then as a result of losing all my videos and pics, plus the fact they killed of Prue, I moved on to Buffy & Angel. That lasted the rest of high school. I had trading cards, books and whatever I could get my hands on. It also lead to meeting some of my best friends, through a few online forums related to the Whedonverse. I went to my 1st & only convention, met Joss, and saw Serenity at the movies 7 times before it even opened officially!
Can't really remember when I let go if Buffy & Angel...I think when Angel ended and I decided to pick back up with Alias, Gilmore Girls, and then Grey's Anatomy. I did the multi obsession thing for a while, as along came Private Practice.
Then in 2008 along came Pushing Daisies and Wicked...and the rest is kind of history!
I got into Pushing Daisies the week before I saw Wicked for the first time. I got the soundtrack and listened to selected songs for that week before. I had always known Wicked was coming and knew I would love it. I had been waiting years for it to finally get to Australia. But that week of Kristin greatness was too much, I spent the next year seeing Wicked over and over, and watching the 1st season of Pushing Daisies over and over.... and watching any Kristin interview/material I could get my hands on. I must also put in my Idina obsession in there too...but I was actually more into Idina before Wicked, because of RENT.
So Wicked started off a whole Broadway obsession, seeing almost everything that came to Melbourne. But at the same time I was devoting myself to all things Wicked/Kristin Chenoweth/Idina Menzel....Vanessa and I discovered (finally) The West Wing. And that took over my life at the same time. I have lost count of how many times I have watched a select few GOLDEN episodes. I made my very first proper fan vid, played drinking games, learned about American government...and got to see more stuff with Kristin Chenoweth!
When I wasn't thinking about all things West Wing, it was all Wicked, or Pushing Daisies, or Kristin...I am surprised I actually found time to finish my university degree with all that in my head!
Then Wicked left Melbourne, and we finished the West Wing, I finished Uni, and I had a little more time to devote myself to new things. That's when I found Glee....a little show I was only watching for Kristin, and a love of musical things....turned out to be fantastic! I was hooked and those first few eps blew me away. It was smart, funny and made my heart sing every week....then they brought in Idina and that rocked my world all over again.....bought the music and watched the performances over and over....till it lost it after the 1st season....but I guess nothing can stay great forever.
In 2010 I also had my big US trip to obsess over. I got to actually MEET Kristin, in New York, and see her on Broadway! It really doesn't get any better than that! Oh yeah it does...I got to go to Idina's concert in Long Island as well! I loved almost every minute of that trip. But it was over before I knew it!
Last year I was obsessed with Private Practice. Season 4 was SOOOO good! I finally had time to obsess over it. Finally getting all the dvds helped too! But sadly this season started out promising, but has failed to live up to the standard of the 1st 4 years. Its in the 5 year slump that Grey's Anatomy fell into. I haven't lost hope yet, but I don't look forward to it and don't don't enjoy it quite as much as I did last year.
And that leads me here, to a place with no obsession. Nothing to take up all my thoughts and free time. Maybe its because I've been working full time since the start of August without any holidays. Maybe its because I don't really have a lot of free time spare, I spend it all watching things just to fit them in. Even the new shows this season haven't really captured my heart. I mean I really enjoy Pan Am, but I won't die if it doesn't come back next season. The same for Once Upon a Time, Up All Night and Unforgettable. I like them, but I'm not watching interviews or rewatching the eps.
Smash is perhaps the closest to an obsession. But I don't feel obsessed! I LOVE it, and have bought a few songs, and watched some eps over again....but wonder if I haven't let myself get attached, after the whole Glee situation. I don't let my hopes get high anymore. Maybe if I had more time, I'd have the energy to live and breath SMASH, but I just don't feel it. I love it, but I don't love it to death!
Maybe something will spark that feeling again soon, and I hope that it does. But right now I'm feeling very lost. I do not have a focus, something to get worked up over. Its been quite hard for me to feel really excited about anything lately. When did I become downer?
Either way, it is very strange after all these years to not be so focused on one thing. Maybe its part of growing up - I sincerely hope not, because if it is, I don't want it!
Maybe when I finally get that holiday/break that I want, it will refresh my brain and let my go crazy for something again. Until then, I will continue to sorta really really like stuff.
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Carlie
