Wow I kinda forgot about my blog. lol. I've been super busy lately.
But things are sorta starting to settle down...slightly.
I handed in the first 2 essays I had due last week. I dunno how good they were..the one I did on Film Noir was the better of the two I think.
Today I went shopping at Chaddy with Vanessa. I hadn't seen her in ages. It was a lot of fun to catch up. We went to Borders and JB and a bunch of other stores. I bought the beaches soundtrack, Romy and Michele's high school reunion and While you were sleeping on dvd, a few hair products and lipstick from Priceline and then I bought 2 tops and a sweater from this shop Ness introduced me to. It's a great shop. I'll have to remember to go back there!
Tonight it was just me and Nikki home, we watched the new movies I bought, and then I watched a couple of commentaries.
I haven't worked since last Saturday. I'm working tomorrow night from 6:30 till 11:30...that will be fun. lol.
meh.
Got some more stuff due this week, which I'll really have to get organised.
I so can't wait till my holidays. I'm gonna paint my room and take down those old posters...I think it's time. lol.
-----------
Carls
Sunday, May 28, 2006
Tuesday, May 16, 2006
Just Keep Puttering On
Well....I've almost finished my essay for Text and Culture, the draft is due thursday...and thats pretty much all it will be...it'll need a lot of work before I hand it in next Thursday.
My essay for Bree's class is still in the early stages...which is nowhere near what I'd like it to be.
...I am getting behind in my stuff for Paul's class, the research project. ...and I will have to start dealing with Mary's.
Along with all the pressure to get it all done, I've been feeling really crappy...not as in sick..but my emotions are getting to me. -I think I'm getting worse. It's probably all Dawson's Creek's falt, but I am constantly thinking about things and about my relationships with other people...and I'm just getting more and more upset about it. -I feel really alone, and empty. And I really hope I snap out of it soon...or it's going to drive me insane...
I've got to stop thinking about it all so much....or maybe thats the problem. -All the stuff in my life I've had to deal with...I'm finally old enough to really understand it and analyse it...and it's making my head explode, because I don't know how to deal with it....and then the other stuff gets in there as well...and it just becomes bad.
I miss my friends. -I haven't really seen anyone lately and I miss people. Thats one thing I really hate about my working...I don't have the freedom to be avaliable whenever...and I never know when I'm going to be working from one week to the next...so that makes it hard to plan things....
Hopefully something will work out soon....I'll be crossing my fingers.
Well I should head off to bed...gotta go to class tomorrow...I'll probably get some crap for not doing the work that I should have by now...but meh.
Sir. Ma'am.
Toodles.
---------
Carlie
My essay for Bree's class is still in the early stages...which is nowhere near what I'd like it to be.
...I am getting behind in my stuff for Paul's class, the research project. ...and I will have to start dealing with Mary's.
Along with all the pressure to get it all done, I've been feeling really crappy...not as in sick..but my emotions are getting to me. -I think I'm getting worse. It's probably all Dawson's Creek's falt, but I am constantly thinking about things and about my relationships with other people...and I'm just getting more and more upset about it. -I feel really alone, and empty. And I really hope I snap out of it soon...or it's going to drive me insane...
I've got to stop thinking about it all so much....or maybe thats the problem. -All the stuff in my life I've had to deal with...I'm finally old enough to really understand it and analyse it...and it's making my head explode, because I don't know how to deal with it....and then the other stuff gets in there as well...and it just becomes bad.
I miss my friends. -I haven't really seen anyone lately and I miss people. Thats one thing I really hate about my working...I don't have the freedom to be avaliable whenever...and I never know when I'm going to be working from one week to the next...so that makes it hard to plan things....
Hopefully something will work out soon....I'll be crossing my fingers.
Well I should head off to bed...gotta go to class tomorrow...I'll probably get some crap for not doing the work that I should have by now...but meh.
Sir. Ma'am.
Toodles.
---------
Carlie
Friday, May 12, 2006
I'm 100% Swamped!
Wow...it's been a while..but I just couldn't be bothered writing anything.
I ended up finishing class really early today. I picked up books from the library for my many essays and assignments that are due in the next couple of weeks. -I'm on total overload!
I should be doing work right now...but I am just not focussed...
I have to write drafts for 2 essays on the weekend.
I also have stuff to do for my other classes. It's quite scary.
At least i'm not working much this weekend. That's somewhat of a comfort. -I'm only working tomorrow night.
It's nice to be home for a friday night. -I've worked the last few. I rented movies, 'The Producers' (the new one), 'The Family Stone', Anchorman, and Clue.
Should be fun. :D
I'm still feeling really depressed at the moment. I think I may have to start looking into some kind of therapy, a psychologist or something. I think I'm only getting worse.
I've been doing a lot of writing lately. -Last night I started an NCIS fanfic on a whim. I may or may not actually get around to finishing it. We'll see.
Oh and I finally finished season 4 of Dawson's Creek. Now I have 5 to go. (6 isn't out here yet)
I watched the season 5 finale of Crossing Jordan on Tuesday. It was really really good.
-I really don't wanna wait for season 6! It's gonna kill me! haha!
Las Vegas finishes next week in the US. -Should be good...or at least interesting. lol.
Keep on Trucking!
-------
Carls
I ended up finishing class really early today. I picked up books from the library for my many essays and assignments that are due in the next couple of weeks. -I'm on total overload!
I should be doing work right now...but I am just not focussed...
I have to write drafts for 2 essays on the weekend.
I also have stuff to do for my other classes. It's quite scary.
At least i'm not working much this weekend. That's somewhat of a comfort. -I'm only working tomorrow night.
It's nice to be home for a friday night. -I've worked the last few. I rented movies, 'The Producers' (the new one), 'The Family Stone', Anchorman, and Clue.
Should be fun. :D
I'm still feeling really depressed at the moment. I think I may have to start looking into some kind of therapy, a psychologist or something. I think I'm only getting worse.
I've been doing a lot of writing lately. -Last night I started an NCIS fanfic on a whim. I may or may not actually get around to finishing it. We'll see.
Oh and I finally finished season 4 of Dawson's Creek. Now I have 5 to go. (6 isn't out here yet)
I watched the season 5 finale of Crossing Jordan on Tuesday. It was really really good.
-I really don't wanna wait for season 6! It's gonna kill me! haha!
Las Vegas finishes next week in the US. -Should be good...or at least interesting. lol.
Keep on Trucking!
-------
Carls
Tuesday, May 02, 2006
Silent Night Part 2
Okay so here is the rest of what I wrote for the short little fic.
-------------
The movie is coming to an end. “Every time a bell rings, an Angel gets it’s wings.”
“That movie’s extremely sappy!”
“Jordan that’s why it’s great!”
“But it’s all sweet and about a guy learning that he has a place in the world.”
“Well it seems a little self centred to me….”
Woody rolls his eyes and shakes his head at Jordan.
“Lets give the cynicism the night off, shall we. It is Christmas after all.”
Jordan nudges Woody.
“As you wish.”
She leans into Woody and puts her head on his shoulder. He flicks to another movie, and in minutes they are both asleep.
--------------------------
About half an hour later, Woody opens his eyes and sits up. He glances at his watch, and takes a deep breath.
He looked at Jordan, who was still sleeping. She looked so peaceful and sweet, that he didn’t want to wake her. So he covered her with a blanket and gathered his things.
Deciding it was rude to just leave like this, he found a piece of paper and left a note on the coffee table next to the deck of cards.
He kissed her gently on the forehead, before opening the door and leaving.
------------------------------------
Jordan woke the next morning, still on the couch. She took a moment to register why she was on the couch, instead of her bed. Then she remembered.
She looked around for Woody. She glanced at the clock, 8:30am. It took her another minute to register that it was Christmas Day, and that she did not have to hurry off to work. She sat back on the couch. Then she spotted the note.
She narrowed her eyes suspiciously at it, like it might attack her or something. She picked it up and opened it, afraid of what it could say. But she need not fear, for all the note said was,
SORRY TO LEAVE, HAD SOMETHING IMPORTANT TO DO…AND IF I TOLD YOU, IT WOULDN’T BE A SECRET. NOW MAKE A NICE CUP OF COFFEE AND RELAX. MERRY CHRISTMAS JORDAN. SEE YOU SOON. –WOODY.
She sighed. Sometimes Woody could be a pain in the butt…but of the best kind.
She looked down at her clothes from yesterday and decided to have a shower and change her clothes.
---------------------------------
About 20 minutes later, Jordan was in the kitchen, dressed in her usual jeans and top. Today she added a little festivity to her wardrobe by wearing a red top with sparkly white snowflakes on it. She was just about to pour the coffee into her glass, when there was a knock at the door. She knew exactly who it was. And when she opened the door, with a smile, she was happy that she was correct in guessing that it was her blue eyed detective wearing a Santa hat on his head.
“Did you miss me?”
“Oh. Immensely!”
Jordan kidded with him and flicked the pom pom on the end of his hat.
“What you got there?”
She asked, pointing to a box that Woody was carrying.
“All in good time.”
He said avoidingly. And walked right by her into the apartment.
Jordan shrugged and followed him.
“Coffee?”
“Please.”
Woody gently put the box down on the table. Jordan watched with great curiosity.
She walked over to couch and handed Woody a mug, and placed her own on the coffee table.
She sat down next to him on the couch, where the two had spent a lot of time lately.
“You know I don’t think I’ve ever spent so much time on this couch before.”
She stated, taking a sip of her coffee.
“What you’ve never sat and watched an all night marathon on cable?”
Woody exclaimed.
Jordan rolled her eyes and gently punched him on the arm.
“Some come on, tell me! What’s in the box?”
Woody smiled.
“I got you a little something.”
“Oh Woody you didn’t need to do that.”
“I wanted to.”
He picked up the box gently.
“Lily’s been holding onto it for me.”
Jordan bit her lip. And took the box from Woody and opened the lid.
“I thought you could use some company.”
Out popped a little grey kitten’s head.
Jordan was momentarily speechless.
“She’s very friendly.”
“She’s adorable. Really.”
The kitten jumped out of the box.
“Oh. Come here puss.”
As the kitty tried to jump off the couch.
Jordan swooped her up and placed her back on her lap.
“You almost lost her to Lily…she didn’t want to give her back.”
He laughed.
Jordan smiled.
“So you gonna name her?”
Jordan grinned.
“I feel five years old right now.”
Woody dangled a piece of string in front of the little blue eyed kitty.
“Hmm. What would be a good name for you little one.”
She bit her lip and thought for a minute.
“How about, Lola.”
She picked up the kitten and stared into her face.
Woody thought it over for a minute and nodded.
“Yep. She seems like a Lola to me.”
Jordan smiled and put Lola back down. Jordan and Woody watched as she jumped around their feet, pouncing on the bits of string Woody kept waving in her face, and stopping her from falling and hurting herself each time she ventured to the edge of the couch.
“Thank you Woody.”
“Enjoy the company.”
He took her hand.
“And just remember that you still have people around who love you.”
She smiled, and kissed him.
--------------------------
-Okay so that was REALLY REALLY sappy! hahaha. But I love it. It made me feel good.
And moving on....
I was watching Dawson's Creek just before and they were talking about the person who knew them best. -I don't think I have a person like that. If I had to get someone to write an essay...I wouldn't know who would be the best person.
I can honestly say that I don't feel close enough to anyone for them to really know me. -No one knows my deepest secrets. There is a lot I will never be able to tell anyone....this sorta frightens me a little. -It makes me very stressed and depressed in my mind.
I really don't think I have a good relationship with anyone.
My parents definately don't know me. -My dad won't even accept that I'm a adult, let alone give me simple human rights of asking me the questions himself, instead of going through mum and making her ask me. -and in case you're wondering, yes that really hurts!
It really hurts and scares me that there isn't anyone I can confide in, or trust. I mean I have my girls...but even them I don't tell everything and I can't tell them a lot. And also it's a matter of needing someone to be there.
If something really really bad happened...who would I call? -This is the answer I am sorta trying to find. I have no one.
I think that is my greatest wish in life, to find someone I can confide and trust in. Someone who I will be able to depend on and just someone who will listen when I need to talk....and that I can feel comfortable letting my demons go with.
Sorry to be so depressing....I'll try and make the next post somewhat more lighthearted.
Please Keep Dreaming
--------------
Carlie
-------------
The movie is coming to an end. “Every time a bell rings, an Angel gets it’s wings.”
“That movie’s extremely sappy!”
“Jordan that’s why it’s great!”
“But it’s all sweet and about a guy learning that he has a place in the world.”
“Well it seems a little self centred to me….”
Woody rolls his eyes and shakes his head at Jordan.
“Lets give the cynicism the night off, shall we. It is Christmas after all.”
Jordan nudges Woody.
“As you wish.”
She leans into Woody and puts her head on his shoulder. He flicks to another movie, and in minutes they are both asleep.
--------------------------
About half an hour later, Woody opens his eyes and sits up. He glances at his watch, and takes a deep breath.
He looked at Jordan, who was still sleeping. She looked so peaceful and sweet, that he didn’t want to wake her. So he covered her with a blanket and gathered his things.
Deciding it was rude to just leave like this, he found a piece of paper and left a note on the coffee table next to the deck of cards.
He kissed her gently on the forehead, before opening the door and leaving.
------------------------------------
Jordan woke the next morning, still on the couch. She took a moment to register why she was on the couch, instead of her bed. Then she remembered.
She looked around for Woody. She glanced at the clock, 8:30am. It took her another minute to register that it was Christmas Day, and that she did not have to hurry off to work. She sat back on the couch. Then she spotted the note.
She narrowed her eyes suspiciously at it, like it might attack her or something. She picked it up and opened it, afraid of what it could say. But she need not fear, for all the note said was,
SORRY TO LEAVE, HAD SOMETHING IMPORTANT TO DO…AND IF I TOLD YOU, IT WOULDN’T BE A SECRET. NOW MAKE A NICE CUP OF COFFEE AND RELAX. MERRY CHRISTMAS JORDAN. SEE YOU SOON. –WOODY.
She sighed. Sometimes Woody could be a pain in the butt…but of the best kind.
She looked down at her clothes from yesterday and decided to have a shower and change her clothes.
---------------------------------
About 20 minutes later, Jordan was in the kitchen, dressed in her usual jeans and top. Today she added a little festivity to her wardrobe by wearing a red top with sparkly white snowflakes on it. She was just about to pour the coffee into her glass, when there was a knock at the door. She knew exactly who it was. And when she opened the door, with a smile, she was happy that she was correct in guessing that it was her blue eyed detective wearing a Santa hat on his head.
“Did you miss me?”
“Oh. Immensely!”
Jordan kidded with him and flicked the pom pom on the end of his hat.
“What you got there?”
She asked, pointing to a box that Woody was carrying.
“All in good time.”
He said avoidingly. And walked right by her into the apartment.
Jordan shrugged and followed him.
“Coffee?”
“Please.”
Woody gently put the box down on the table. Jordan watched with great curiosity.
She walked over to couch and handed Woody a mug, and placed her own on the coffee table.
She sat down next to him on the couch, where the two had spent a lot of time lately.
“You know I don’t think I’ve ever spent so much time on this couch before.”
She stated, taking a sip of her coffee.
“What you’ve never sat and watched an all night marathon on cable?”
Woody exclaimed.
Jordan rolled her eyes and gently punched him on the arm.
“Some come on, tell me! What’s in the box?”
Woody smiled.
“I got you a little something.”
“Oh Woody you didn’t need to do that.”
“I wanted to.”
He picked up the box gently.
“Lily’s been holding onto it for me.”
Jordan bit her lip. And took the box from Woody and opened the lid.
“I thought you could use some company.”
Out popped a little grey kitten’s head.
Jordan was momentarily speechless.
“She’s very friendly.”
“She’s adorable. Really.”
The kitten jumped out of the box.
“Oh. Come here puss.”
As the kitty tried to jump off the couch.
Jordan swooped her up and placed her back on her lap.
“You almost lost her to Lily…she didn’t want to give her back.”
He laughed.
Jordan smiled.
“So you gonna name her?”
Jordan grinned.
“I feel five years old right now.”
Woody dangled a piece of string in front of the little blue eyed kitty.
“Hmm. What would be a good name for you little one.”
She bit her lip and thought for a minute.
“How about, Lola.”
She picked up the kitten and stared into her face.
Woody thought it over for a minute and nodded.
“Yep. She seems like a Lola to me.”
Jordan smiled and put Lola back down. Jordan and Woody watched as she jumped around their feet, pouncing on the bits of string Woody kept waving in her face, and stopping her from falling and hurting herself each time she ventured to the edge of the couch.
“Thank you Woody.”
“Enjoy the company.”
He took her hand.
“And just remember that you still have people around who love you.”
She smiled, and kissed him.
--------------------------
-Okay so that was REALLY REALLY sappy! hahaha. But I love it. It made me feel good.
And moving on....
I was watching Dawson's Creek just before and they were talking about the person who knew them best. -I don't think I have a person like that. If I had to get someone to write an essay...I wouldn't know who would be the best person.
I can honestly say that I don't feel close enough to anyone for them to really know me. -No one knows my deepest secrets. There is a lot I will never be able to tell anyone....this sorta frightens me a little. -It makes me very stressed and depressed in my mind.
I really don't think I have a good relationship with anyone.
My parents definately don't know me. -My dad won't even accept that I'm a adult, let alone give me simple human rights of asking me the questions himself, instead of going through mum and making her ask me. -and in case you're wondering, yes that really hurts!
It really hurts and scares me that there isn't anyone I can confide in, or trust. I mean I have my girls...but even them I don't tell everything and I can't tell them a lot. And also it's a matter of needing someone to be there.
If something really really bad happened...who would I call? -This is the answer I am sorta trying to find. I have no one.
I think that is my greatest wish in life, to find someone I can confide and trust in. Someone who I will be able to depend on and just someone who will listen when I need to talk....and that I can feel comfortable letting my demons go with.
Sorry to be so depressing....I'll try and make the next post somewhat more lighthearted.
Please Keep Dreaming
--------------
Carlie
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