I Just Feel Crappy!

Today was just a bad day for me. Almost everything made me sad or grumpy!

I went to class..that was fine, I got a lift...I almost got hit by a car crossing the road to the station. That wasn't fun. It sorta freaked me out...but it was my own choice to run for it...I did see the car coming.....

So then I went to class..I'd gotten my coffee. But we watched this crappy movie and I got a stomachache.
Then after class finally ended, we had to hang around for ages doing group work for our debate on monday. I had to say that it was time for me to go, when it got to 2:30pm. I didn't get home till almost 3:30pm. I then I sat around watching 2 eps of Dawson's Creek, and got totally weirded out by Sasha Alexander...cause she's always been Gretchen from DC in her other shows...but I think because of watching NCIS the night before, she was just Kate to me. lol. It was weird.

Then I went to work at 6pm. I was exhausted. And then I was sure I finished at 9pm...I signed off and everything then I got called back saying I was actually on till 9:30pm. I read the roster wrong. I felt like crying inside. I hate being in the wrong, and looking bad. And I was just so tired and wanted to go home. I find it really hard to do stuff if I'm not in the mind set to do it. My mind believed I was finished at 9pm....so yeah.

Then Mum got grouchy, cause she'd been waiting in the car.
Then when we got home I got grouchy cause Scott was watching tv and I wanted to.
Then I made my dinner and sat in my room crying. Cause I just felt like crying. And I listened to sad songs on my iPod. I then made my bed and realised mum had made my hair appointment for next wednesday, when I'm supposed to be going to the city with my friends. So she got mad at me. And made up in her head that I'd told her wednesday, when I told her the next Tuesday. *sigh*.

I am just in a bad mood.
Oh and work offered me a contract with regular hours...but they suck! I would never have a life!
They want me to work 6-11pm on Friday nights! EVERY FRIDAY NIGHT! and then 1:30-6:30pm on Saturdays and then 10am-3pm on Sundays! I'll never have time for anything! AND I'll never get the takeaway dinner on Friday nights!...or my tv time!...or be able to go out!

So yeah..I'm not gonna do that. I think I'll stick to the random for a little longer...the hours are just not gonna work for me.

Well I think that's all I have to say for now. Tomorrow I have no class cause my teachers gonna be away. I'm working at 6pm. Joy. I'm not really looking forward to working this weekend.

Keep On Trucking!

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Carlie

The End of Another Easter

Well as of now...what is technically Tuesday, the long weekend is over. Easter has once again come and gone. -Though this is the first time in a while that Easter has actually not been part of the school holidays.
I was looking at the papers today, and reading about all the people who went to church yesterday, and all those that got baptised over the weekend.
I think I would like to be baptised. I consider myself a believer in God, and so should be baptised accordingly...though the question then becomes, what denomination would I be baptised under?!
My father grew up a Catholic, and his family has now turned away from the Church. My Mother was raised a Presbyterian.
No one else seems to be overly interested in Religion in my house. I think Nicole would be if she was exposed to it more. But then again, I've only had a little more experiance than she has!

So once again, the question of my religion is no closer to being solved or sorted. -Someday perhaps. Maybe I should just walk into a church and ask to be baptised....though anyone knowing me...if there is anyone, knows that I couldn't do that.

So yes, now the weekend is over. Though I don't actually have any classes until Thursday.
Friday I stayed home, I slept in and just hung around the house. I stayed up a little to watch the start of the Crossing Jordan Marathon on W (Foxtel). I watched 2 episodes and then went to bed. I got up again at about 8:15am. I watched more and spent the rest of the day watching them. -Till 3, when there was an hours break, so I showered and changed.
It was so much fun. Though I now feel like watching Crossing Jordan all the time. lol.
I had to work at 7pm, so I left the tape going, like I did when I was sleeping, and came back after my 3 hour shift.
I then stayed up and watched 2 of the episodes I missed the day before.

Sunday I slept in late again, I had the house to myself, since Mum and Dad were down at Uncle John's house and Scott was at work. I watched the rest of the episodes of Crossing Jordan and then just watched tv and did stuff on the computer.

Today I watched tv, I did some homework, and I had to work from 4pm till 7pm. I had fun talking to one of the girls. We were laughing about quotes from Finding Nemo. We were in hysterics at one point. It was pretty funny.

Well thats all I've got for right now. I should go get some sleep. Got a lot more homework to do tomorrow. -Joy. hehe.

Ooodles of Toodles and ooosies.

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Carlie

I'm Bored!

Okay well I should really be going to bed...but instead I'm here sitting at my computer, now I say that loosely....as it's not technically my computer...it belongs to the whole family, via my mother who actually paid for it...
So yeah.. I really own no part of it. lol.

But anyways...it's mine! MINE!

I should really get my own...but hey, I'm still working on a bloody TV for my room!

I've had the last 2 days off. That's been great. Though I had to get up early yesterday cause we had an electrician come to fix our non-working lights. They were fixed, and I then sat and watched new episodes of Crossing Jordan and Las Vegas. -There's no better way to spend some time! :D

Tonight I worked for 3 and a half hours. Work and I are interesting. It's kinda like school. I sorta love the idea of it...but when I am doing it, I spend a lot of time wishing I was at home. OH well. It's gonna take some getting used to. In the meantime the money is great!
I went and got a new phone on Monday after class. It's quite shiny and does things my last phone could only dream on. -Interesting notion...phones having dreams! lol.

Oh and we went to a taping of Spicks and Specks Monday night too! It was hilarious! I had a great time and I told Adam Hills (the host) that it was Nikki's birthday the day before and he got the whole audience to sing happy birthday to her. It was great! And everyone was really really REALLY funny!
Of course Myf's team didn't win...but I still had a great time. And we hung around after and got their autographs. -It seems kinda stupid..but they are cool, so it was nice to be able to say hi. lol

Tomorrow I have class again and then am working from 8:30pm till midnight! That's gonna be fun! I'll need lots of coffee tomorrow I think!

Oh well I can sleep in Friday.

Well I should really hurry up and get to bed.

Oodles of Toodles

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Carlie

Happy Birthday Nikki!

Today is my sister Nikki's 11th Birthday. -She's getting all growed up! It's scary! lol.

Today we went shopping at Chaddy, for the first time in weeks. I wanted to get a bunch of new clothes. Nikki wanted more presents and I had to get her something from me.
Nikki got all grumpy because Mum wouldn't let her get this Sims2 expansion pack, and then said she could and then said she couldn't. -My mother never stays strong on things, she's such a push over. I hate that! It didn't do me any good and it won't do Nikki any good either.
Anyways..she didn't end up getting the game.
I was stressing the whole time because I needed to get home to do homework. -I am starting to get behind. It's not good!

I managed to find some new jeans and some brown pants in Just Jeans. The jeans are getting taken up and I will have to go back and get them at some stage....hmm.

Tonight we went out to dinner for Nikki's birthday. We went to a place called Michaelangelos. It was really nice. Scott and I shared a pizza.

I'm really tired now and have a headache. The work that is due tomorrow is done...as best as it could be today.
I will have to go to the ATM before class tomorrow, so that I can have money for a coffee on the break!

I think I'll go to bed and get some extra rest. lol.
Last night I had a really odd dream about Crossing Jordan. I wonder if I'll have a cool dream tonight?! lol

Goodnight

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Carlie

So Now It's April

I have never been a big fan of March, for a few reasons, but mostly that there are so many damm people with birthdays in that month. -In just my family alone!
I've always felt left out for that, especially when we do the big family party for the Sheehan's, my dad's side. There's Pop, Mum, Scott, Jade, Caitlin and Kieran. -And also sometimes Nikki, though she is actually April 9th.

April usually brings Easter, or at least school holidays. But this year we've already had our holidays, due to the Commonwealth Games. -Just the name Commonwealth is open to great controversey....okay not gonna go there...as 1) I really don't have the time, and 2) I dunno if I care that much.

So yeah, today I slept in, after being up way too late on the computer. I watched the new episode of Las Vegas, and episode 9 of NCIS which I had downloaded.
I also watched a lot of Dawson's Creek today. About another 4 episodes.

Also attempted some homework.

I also typed up the new final scene version I wrote in class the other day. Now I just have to go through both of them and pick what I like about both and see if I can use any of it, to make just 1 scene. -It shouldn't be that hard, they're pretty much the same.

Tomorrow I have my short class. We were supposed to have picked a topic (a wide idea at least) for our Research Project. -I have none. I seriously have NO idea what I could research. -Maybe I just need some clarification. I dunno. It'll get sorted out.
-I'm also starting to look into courses to do next year. I dunno what though, but I think I am considering the teaching option again.

The weather is getting colder, which is nice. I do love winter. I love snuggling up and wearing coats and boots and stuff. But it means I have to hurry up and go shopping so that I actually have some clothes to wear! hehe

Enjoy your Wednesdays

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Carlie

Today's The Day

Today I had work. Work was work. Heh. I had to sort out a mix up with my schedule, they had rostered me on for tomorrow during the day, when I am supposed to be in class. So I had to get out of that shift. I also filled out a new form telling them what hours I can work.

Now to totally change the subject. :)
I LOVE Sarah McLachlan's music. I really should go and buy all her CDs. I am currently listening to 'Fallen'. It's a great song. Her music is both really sweet and deep, and also pretty and sad and can be depressing when you feel like being sad and depressed.
-Which I have been feeling a bit lately. -That's one reason for sharing my song last night.
I keep going to bed, wanting to cry. I don't really know why. But I just feel like crying.
I rented Harry Potter and The Goblet of Fire on Friday night and that made me cry.

I wonder if there is a reason I end up loving movies or episodes of tv shows that make me cry. Some of my favorite episodes of all time are the ones which had me totally bawling. Hmm.

I'm not working again until Friday, I will have to either leave class early, or skip class altogether in order to make it to work on time. I am supposed to start at 1pm. And I guess I won't finish till 6pm. Fun. And I'm working again on Saturday. I stupidly said I would cover for one of the guys. Meh. I can used the dosh. :)

I'm just about halfway through season 2 of Dawson's Creek on my dvds now. I wish I had more time to watch them all. I can't wait till easter and the CJ marathon. :) It's gonna be way too much fun.

So tonight I leave with the sentiment,
Cry if you feel like it, you will often feel much better after, -especially after a good nights sleep.

Take care, be safe

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Carlie

Little Girl

This is a song/poem that I found on my computer just now. I wrote it sometime last year I think, and it's all about my experiance with cancer as a kid.
I felt like posting it in that it's been almost 11 year since I've been cancer free.

It's a very personal thing, but I kinda felt like putting it out there somewhere.

Little Girl, oh so small
She’s already seen it all
She’s knows suff’ring
She knows pain
The fear it could come back again

That little girl with eyes of blue
She’s already had so much to go though
Too young to truly understand
Only just started writing with her little left hand
She seemed so normal at first glance
But now her whole future’s up to chance

Pricks and needles, days so long
All these tests go on and on
Never feeling very well
Some days she really went through hell
It all left her tired and drained
How bad it was, was never really explained

Days turned to months and months to years,
Each bringing with them a bunch of new fears
Lonely and bored everyday in that room
People tried so hard to relieve all the gloom
There were toys and games she was spoilt so rotten
So many things that can’t be forgotten

People around her often stayed away
Not wanting to get close, in case she went away
Had so much more than the medicine to deal with
This really was no way for a small child to live
So much fighting, so much resolve
This was one puzzle she just couldn’t solve
Always known by those she met
Sometimes she wished everyone would simply forget

That she was brave and that she was strong,
That she was fighting and holding on
A little girl with so much to lose
This was a life no one would choose.

Her spirit was strong
Her smile so bright
She was all alone there in the night
So detached from the big world outside
So innocent and small she lay and cried
She didn’t know why it had chosen her
She wished it could all be like it was before
When she was just a normal girl
Back to when she was so tiny and small